Pride 2020: Bianka + Ashley’s Full Interview

Bianka and Ashley

Ashley: I’m 29 years old, my preferred pronouns are she/her. I’m from Houston, but currently I’ve been living in Long Beach California for the last 5 years. I’m a 4th generation Mexican, which most say doesn’t count, nevertheless I’m a strong lesbian woman of color who is a Texan at heart. I’m a student at Cal State University Long Beach and have been continuing my long academic journey that has included many ups and downs over the years. More importantly, it has provided me with a true appreciation for education. I’m so thankful for being privileged enough to return to school and to have a partner who has supported and sacrificed to make that possible. I’m also grateful for the education system here in California, specifically their Community Colleges. Over the years I’ve taken so many amazing courses and have interacted with so many talented professors it’s truly an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world.

I’m an obsessed sports fan who enjoys talking shit and I’m all about my Houston teams! I love my family and friends who have surrounded me with love and support and I will do anything to protect those that I love!

Bianka: I'm a first generation Mexican American born and raised in Long Beach, CA. I moved to Houston shortly after meeting Ashley and graduated from the University of Houston. I loved living in the city of Houston and consider it my second home! I'm a cannabis advocate for WeedQueens.Co and an avid start-up junkie. When I'm not working or writing for Weed Queens, I'm at my mom's house eating her delicious food or hanging out and dancing with my friends.

CQ: Can you tell us a little bit about you as a couple?

Ashley and Bianka: We’ve been together for almost 10 years and while that is a long time, it honestly hasn’t felt like 10 years which can be a testament to our relationship. It also speaks to how time flies and seems to only be getting faster with each passing year, but they’ve definitely been better together! We have completely different personalities which can be challenging, especially when it comes to our different communication methods, but we still share our core values which is most important.

We love our dog Butter (aka Luppy) who is the sweetest, spoiled little baby that brightens our days. We enjoy traveling and especially love camping and frequenting the outdoors. Other than that, we’re just like an old married couple who come home to cuddle and watch some tv at the end of the day. Our relationship requires a lot of work just like any relationship, but we’re consistently pushing each other to be better while also supporting and loving each other whole heartedly.

CQ: What's the story of how you met?

Ashley: We met in the summer of 2010 and were introduced by a mutual friend that I was visiting in Los Angeles. Our initial introduction was plagued by the aftermath of me consuming my first hash brownie which significantly impacted my cognitive abilities, and I was only able to mutter a sentence or two of conversation. Somehow, Bianka managed to gain some interest and in a couple of days we met again with more friends at a gay club in LA where we danced and drunkenly made out. We saw each other a couple of more times during the trip and had some fun times, but we both thought it was nothing more than a fling as I flew back home to Texas. 10 years later here we are!

CQ: What does Pride mean to you?

Ashley: Pride means so many things to me. Initially, it’s the biggest queer party of the year so its always a great time, but more importantly it’s just so exciting to be apart of such a bad ass community. Breathing is different at Pride, the unity and solidarity that exudes from the queer community during Pride is just so refreshing. It’s like the feeling you get when you walk into a gay bar amplified times ten. It’s all about celebrating and embracing each other and having a space that is ours.

CQ: What's a piece of media that makes you feel seen or represented by as a queer person?

Ashley: The L Word definitely changed my life when I discovered it in high school, back when Netflix only functioned by mailing DVD’s to your mailbox. I signed up right away and was always ecstatic when the new discs would arrive. It was an oasis of entertainment that provided much needed representation for me while I was navigating my own sexuality. The L Word wasn’t perfect and was narrow in the aspect that it mainly focused on predominantly white affluent cis-gendered women, but at the time it rocked my world!

Now 10 years later, we have the revamped season which aimed to encompass more identities within the queer community which was good, but nothing has been more amazing than Vida! Especially as a Latinx lesbian, Vida has combined the underrepresentation of the Latinx community with the queer community and really succeeded in providing that much needed visibility by focusing on specific issues and relationships that are paramount in Latinx communities.

CQ: What kind of topics do you feel are underrepresented in queer culture?

Ashley and Bianka: More Trans representation, especially more Black and Latinx trans representation!

Also, more queer sports representation. I religiously follow athletes like Sue Bird, Megan Rapinoe, Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris who all double as social activists and provide great representation for the queer community. I would like to see more of an increase in that visibility and also just more discourse on queer issues from the sports world especially when so many athletes are voicing their concerns on social issues.

CQ: Have you celebrated Pride before? What attracts you to it? Is there anything you would change about it?

Ashley and Bianka: Of course, the increasing pink-washing (especially within the last 5 years) has been unavoidable as some corporations can’t seem to get their hands on enough rainbow flags to slap on their products—it’s problematic. The profiting off the queer community is usually nothing more than a marketing scheme that fails to interject real change for the queer community, and it’s mostly disingenuous rather than them educating themselves on the pertinent issues facing the queer community.

CQ: What's your favorite thing about the LGBTQ community?

Ashley and Bianka: That we’re disrupters, constantly defying the “norms” in society, whether that be through resisting the gender binary or rejecting heteronormativity (and various other ways), we’re doing so unapologetically with pride and acceptance and love for all within our community.

CQ: What do queer spaces mean to you?

Ashley and Bianka: Queer spaces are really important to us. We’ve always lived in cities where queer spaces were usually available and that has become a requirement for anywhere that we live, just as it’s important for us to live within a diverse community/city. Being in spaces that don’t have queer spaces and that are predominantly white is really uncomfortable for us (also the food would suck). We’re privileged to be able to choose to live in diverse and queer communities. I can’t fathom what it would be like growing up in a small town as a queer person.

One of the main reasons we decided to live in Long Beach (besides the *slightly cheaper rent) when we moved to California was because of the amazing queer community here. Long Beach Pride has easily become my favorite Pride that I’ve attended. The city really takes pride in its queer community and provides ample spaces and resources for the queer community that isn’t just celebrated during Pride but is consistently being celebrated throughout the city.

CQ: What do you look for in a queer ally?

Ashley and Bianka: Anyone who is willing to listen, to learn, and educate themselves on issues facing the queer community rather than just buying a pair of Nikes with rainbow colors on them and coming to pride to get that coveted photo-op for instagram.