Pride 2020: Ethan + Marco’s Full Interview

Ethan and Marco

Marco has been an Registered Nurse for over 10 years. He grew up in Pasadena, TX with his mother, father, and brother. He has developed some amazing cooking skills over the years and is an amazing host when having friends or family over. Marco is a very detail-oriented person and has accomplished so much in his career and personal life. Currently he is working as a director of nursing for the ICU, IMU, rapid response and dialysis services for a very prominent hospital system in Houston. Marco spends his free time exercising, traveling, working on home projects, taking care of his car, and spending time with friends.

Ethan grew up in Lake Jackson, TX with his mother and brother. Ethan showed horses competitively when he was younger and still enjoys going to the barn to ride whenever he can. Ethan also spends his free time exercising, gardening, traveling, and working on various amateur art projects. Ethan works as a Speech Language Pathologist specializing in adult brain injury rehabilitation and works within the same hospital system as Marco but at different locations.

CQ: Can you tell us a little bit about you as a couple?

Ethan and Marco: We are perfectly matched opposites. We find that although we compliment each other, it's nice to have different strengths because it doesn't leave room for much competition between us. Marco is very precise, he keeps everything running smoothly, and is constantly working to improve our home, finances, and relationship. However, Marco can get so focused that sometimes he needs a reminder to take a break. Enter Ethan. Ethan is more laid-back and can easily adapt to situations. As Marco initiates and plans out a new goal, Ethan helps by carrying-out the plan. We work very well together when at home by dividing the chores evenly. We have the same taste in movies, shows, and music which is VERY helpful when relaxing in the evenings. We love cooking together and do so while listening to soft jazz and drinking wine.

CQ: What's the story of how you met?

Ethan and Marco: We met through a mutual friend one night in a group at a small bar close to Montrose. There were definitely some sparks between us and after about 2 months of dating we agreed to be exclusive.

CQ: What was your wedding like?

Ethan and Marco: Our wedding was beautiful and we'll always remember the overall look of it. We got married at the Hermann Park Centennial Gardens. The flowers were beautiful, our close friend married us, and both of our families and friends came together to celebrate with us. We agreed to get married in March of 2016 and after President Obama signed the executive order allowing LGBTQ marriage across the nation. We agreed to get married in August. We planned our wedding in 2 weeks with much help from our photographer and friend, Elizabeth Jones. She really helped make our wedding perfect.

CQ: What does Pride mean to you?

Ethan and Marco: Pride is acceptance, love, and the freedom to not only "be yourself," but it gives us permission to explore ourselves without shame. It provides comfort, solidarity, and remembrance of a time, not that long ago, that we as a community were beaten, discriminated against, and jailed for loving openly. We both have experienced living life in the closet and thanks to Pride and increasing visibility, society has changed for the better allowing us to live an open, beautiful life.

CQ: What's a piece of media that makes you feel seen or represented by as a queer person?

Ethan and Marco: So many movies come to mind that have really resonated with us and brought out some DEEP emotions. The Normal Heart with Mark Ruffalo is the most difficult movie to watch. It gives a compassionate, raw depiction of life in the 80's during the HIV crisis. Hopelessness, feelings of unfathomable loss, and government discrimination are key themes. We've only seen it one time because it's very difficult to watch.

CQ: Have you celebrated pride before? What about it attracts you? Is there anything you’d change about it?

Ethan and Marco: We celebrate pride every year. The parade has gotten so large that we usually will stay home during the day with friends and then go out at night to the large block party. Pride feels like a big summer party with people you've never met, but you connect through self-expression of identity and love.

CQ: What's your favorite thing about the LGBTQ community?

Ethan and Marco: Our favorite thing is the worldwide sense of community. Every vacation, we always connect with LGBTQ people from around the world. It's so helpful that in the age of social media we can keep up with travel friends and go visit whenever we get the opportunity!

CQ: What do queer spaces mean to you?

Ethan and Marco: Queer spaces make us feel safe. Although society is making a slow and steady shift, there is still the chance for violence or discrimination within the community we live in. We both have grown up in a society that was not accepting of the LGBTQ community. Ethan comes from a very conservative hometown and has difficulty showing public affection to this day. Because of Marco he is becoming more comfortable, but shame is difficult to overcome.

It's sometimes difficult to go to places that are not exclusively queer and live naturally and openly without feeling that shame planted and cultivated by classmates, parents, teachers, religious leaders, government officials, etc. as we grew up. Although we realize it's important to occupy these spaces for increased acceptance an visibility, it can be emotionally taxing.

CQ: What do you look for in a queer ally?

Ethan and Marco: We think queer allies should be open to making space not only for the LGBTQ community, but for all those minority groups that are experiencing discrimination and inequality. The queer community has many different subgroups of people. A queer ally should be an ally for those that do not have the platform to demand justice for themselves and those like them.

A queer ally should also not focus on anyone's queerness as the ultimate identifier. The biggest insult is being introduced as "My gay friend." Why is that the identifier you choose to associate us with? Why can't we just be "friends?" We as queer individuals will give insight into our personal life when we deem it appropriate. Many hetero-normative allies don't realize that, yes, we come out of the closet initially when we begin to identify as queer, but it doesn't end there. Every time we meet someone new we have to come out and It should be in our control how, when, and to whom we divulge that intimate and personal information.